What are you waiting for?
In seasons of infertility, it can be easy to get caught up in either a “medical focus zone” (ie: appointments, medication trials, bloodwork, scans, repeat) or the “doldrums of despair” (“Nothing is working out.”, “Why isn’t God answering my prayers?”, “Life seems pointless”, “What purpose do we have if we aren’t parents?”). Sometimes we can even find ourselves in the barren in between - no progress on building your family, and all that’s left is an empty daily routine, devoid of joy or purpose. When we find ourselves in any of these 3 places, it is important to first identify it, give yourself a little grace and understanding… then shake things up! While medical efforts certainly deserve our focus in certain seasons, it’s dangerous for it to remain our sole purpose and focus. And while it’s understandable to feel anxious or depressed, it’s important not to linger and remain in that state for too long. In this resource, we encourage you to embark on a “Dive right in” project: one fun new experience and one bigger exciting project to work on over a few weeks or months. The goal with “Dive right in” is to remind you that there is more to life than what you’re currently experiencing. By sharing this resource, we hope we can help you just a little to lift up your head again and find a spark of life, a little flame of joy, that you can nurture and tend to as you find meaning in your journey forward.
Creating your “Dive right in” adventure plan
One fun new experience
Brainstorm activities that you have been wanting to experience or try (eg: a cake decorating workshop, a cultural festival, a new coffee shop, exploring a new small town nearby etc). Select one. We suggest that the activity you choose should take no more than an afternoon or evening, making it an “easy reach” to check off your list.
One exciting project
Brainstorm projects you would enjoy tackling that would bring you a sense of joy and accomplishment (eg: planting a garden, redecorating a room in your home, creating a photo album of your wedding, a trip or favorite memories, a crafting project, pursuing a new degree or certification, etc). Select one. We recommend that this project should be something that may take several weeks or months to complete, so as to really allow yourself to become engaged in it and help you shift your time, energy and focus to this fruitful endeavor.
Easy action steps
Break each adventure, both the experience and the project, into manageable steps and timelines. For example: cake decorating class (1) google search cake decorating classes, (2) call local bulk goods shop or craft store to inquire if they know of classes, (3) book a class, (3) invite a friend.
Choose: 2-player or 1-player adventure
Decide whether you would like to do each part of your challenge alone or with a friend or family member. If you pick someone to accompany you, make sure they will enjoy the experience and/or project as well and are a life-giving person you will gain energy from spending time with during these activities. Dragging a reluctant and grumpy spouse to a quilt show will not have the same benefits for you as going with a fellow crafting enthusiast.
Choose an accountability partner
Even if you are doing the adventure challenges alone, think about someone you could ask to be your accountability partner/cheerleader. Who could cheer you on and encourage you to take these healthy steps for you towards joy? Ask this person to follow up with you to see how each part of your challenge is coming along. Make sure to let them know the time you are planning to complete each part/step by.
Document the journey and reflect
Have fun taking photos of your outings, experiences and before/after photos of your projects. Each step along the way is worth celebrating and enjoying. If you enjoy journaling, take time to jot down your reflections of what you’ve enjoyed about your adventures, how it’s affected your mindset, energy levels and mood, and what God may have been teaching you through it. If comfortable, share these reflections with your accountability partner/adventure partner.
Printable Worksheets
Click below to download your own printable “Support Cheat Sheet” worksheets, which include both an example page and a blank template for you to fill out with your own plan.
For further resources to help you along the infertility journey, check out our Resources Page.
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