When we hear "fruitful," especially in scripture, we often automatically add "and multiply". I know I do. For those of us struggling with infertility, even the word "fruitful" brings to mind the image of having children and can be a source of deep pain and feelings of inadequacy. The inability to conceive can leave us feeling as though we are failing at something fundamental to our faith, purpose, and the command God gave us.
Spiritual fruitfulness
Recently, I was teaching a Faith Formation class about Jesus being the vine and we the branches, and how He wants us to produce good fruit. We finished by working on memorizing what's known as “the Fruit of the Spirit”. Later, I realized I hadn't mentally added "and multiply" while teaching about being fruitful. Looking at this topic from a child's point of view was what I needed to challenge myself to look at how "be fruitful and multiply" could mean something other than what I automatically think of.
Focusing on the biological aspect of bearing children and growing a family is natural and easy when we think of fruitfulness. In the Bible, the phrase "be fruitful and multiply" has often been interpreted this way. While reproductive fruitfulness is one aspect of being fruitful, it is not the only one.
Instead of viewing infertility as an absence of growth, let’s consider it as an opportunity for deeper spiritual development and explore how we can cultivate these spiritual fruits in our own lives. In Galatians 5:22-23, St. Paul speaks of the Fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These are all qualities that God wants us to cultivate in our lives, regardless of our ability to have children. Spiritual fruitfulness is about allowing the Holy Spirit to work in us, transforming us into the likeness of Christ and enabling us to be a source of life and grace to those around us.
By embracing this perspective, we can redefine what it means to be fruitful. It is no longer solely about physical motherhood, but rather about nurturing the spiritual fruits God has planted within us. Even if we cannot bear children, we can still live abundantly fruitful lives by embodying these qualities and sharing them with others. Spiritual growth and transformation are ways to fulfill God’s command to be fruitful, even when our journey looks different from what we imagined.
The Fruit of the Spirit
The Fruit of the Spirit, as outlined in Galatians 5:22-23, provides a roadmap for spiritual growth and fruitfulness. Each fruit represents a quality that God wants us to cultivate and offers a unique opportunity to experience His grace. Let’s look at these fruits and consider how to nurture them through our infertility journey.
Love: Infertility can affect how we view love when God doesn’t seem to be answering our prayers. We feel unseen and unloved, but we know this is a lie from the enemy. Only when we accept God’s love for us and genuinely believe it can we extend love to others.
Joy: We often mistake joy for happiness. Joy is more than a fleeting emotion when life is going well. Joy is not the absence of sorrow but the presence of God’s grace.
Peace: Infertility brings uncertainty, but God still calls us to a peace that surpasses all understanding. By trusting in His plan and surrendering our worries, we can experience true peace.
Patience: The journey of infertility teaches us patience. We learn to trust that God's timing is always perfect.
Kindness: Infertility fosters kindness as we extend empathy and become a source of comfort to others.
Goodness: God calls us to live and reflect His love and character. We need to focus on what we can give in service to others rather than what we lack. When we view life through the lens of scarcity, we find it hard to see the blessings God has given us.
Faithfulness: Infertility tests our faith, and faith grows most when tested. We grow in faithfulness by trusting in God's promises, even when outcomes are uncertain.
Gentleness: Cultivating gentleness towards ourselves and others helps us recognize that our circumstances do not define our worth. We need to defeat the lies the enemy tells us by speaking to ourselves with gentleness and truth like we would our best friend.
Self-control: Managing the emotions that accompany infertility requires self-control. By relying on God's strength, we can respond to the challenges with grace and focus on His presence in our lives.
Practical ways to cultivate the Fruit of the Spirit
Prayer and scripture reading: Prayer is essential for cultivating the Fruit of the Spirit. Spending time talking with God, bringing your fears, hopes and pain before Him, invites His grace into your life. Regularly reading scripture, especially passages that speak of God’s love and faithfulness, can bring comfort.
Seek support: Infertility can feel isolating, but you do not have to go through it alone. Seek out support from friends, family or your parish community. Sharing your journey with others who understand can help foster empathy, kindness and gentleness. It also provides opportunities to encourage and support others who are struggling. The Fruitful Hollow’s Sisters of Hannah mentorship ministry offers personalized support and prayerful companionship from women who have walked this road before.
Practice acts of service: Serving others, even in small ways, can help shift the focus from what we lack to what we can give. Acts of service nurture goodness and kindness and remind us that we have something valuable to contribute, even in our pain.
Journaling: Writing down your thoughts, prayers, reflections and daily gratitude can be a powerful way to process emotions and recognize God’s presence in your journey. It can help cultivate self-control by allowing you to manage and express your feelings constructively.
Be patient with yourself: The journey through infertility is not linear. There will be ups and downs, moments of hope and moments of despair. Cultivating patience and gentleness with yourself is crucial. Remember that spiritual growth takes time, and it’s okay to have difficult days.
Focus on gratitude: Practicing gratitude can help foster joy and peace. Even on the hardest days, finding something to be grateful for (a supportive spouse, a beautiful sunset, a kind word from a friend) can help shift your perspective and remind you of God’s grace.
To my sisters walking this journey with me, I see your pain and understand the weight of feeling as though you cannot fulfill a fundamental calling. But I invite you to embrace a different kind of fruitfulness. Infertility is deeply painful but can be fertile ground for nurturing these fruits of the Spirit. Spiritual fruitfulness is no less valuable. It is a powerful way to reflect God's grace and share His love, regardless of motherhood. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can bear spiritual fruit that brings life and love to those around us.
Comments